For me, I have always struggled with self conscious issues, always hating what I’ve looked like and been embarrassed to be seen in public for many reasons.
Recently, I have decided to let go of this obsession I had on what other people thought of me, but that didn’t change the fact that I wanted to try and make myself look better for my own happiness.
This is Part 1 of (currently) 2 on my journey in aesthetic self improvement, with Part 2 on my gym/swimming improvements which I hope to be up later this week or early next week.
Firstly: On Makeup.
I didn’t become interested at all in makeup until I left school, and so it’s probably quite a shock when people see me for the first time since the school halls, as I look like quite a different person.
My major issue with my face was my skin, being quite dry and spot-prone. (But I mean, what teenager’s isn’t, you know?). Here are some pictures of me when I was young and didn’t wear any makeup.
See, it isn’t horrible.
And yet I would look in the mirror and see the ugliest person staring back at me.
When I left school, I used makeup as a form of comfort, and here was the first look I ever did:
Okay so now that WAS horrible, but looking at it back then, I thought it was amazing.
Over time I gained experience and discovered what worked best for my face shape and developed my skills.
And here was a before/after photo I took over a year ago when I was first getting good at makeup:
For me, it wasn’t about expression, or about what other people thought about me, or that I wanted to cake my face in makeup. It was simply that it made myself feel less hideous when I looked into a mirror.
Now that I have come to accept myself for who I am, I do it because I like how I look with makeup.
Today though, I generally have three options.
- I don’t wear makeup, and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt. It gives my skin a break, and I feel fresh and light and carefree (despite what 15-year old me is yelling at myself)
- I do a full face of makeup. This is only now when I have an event or party to go to, as I generally don’t have the time or inclination otherwise.
- My basic makeup look, which I wear to work (where I basically am stationed at 24/7) and around the house/on errands. This is my natural look that people will see me in 99% of the time.
So there you have it.
As well as an inundation of pictures of myself (in case you have familiarised yourself with my head yet), here has been my journey of finding and using makeup, and how my use of it has changed over the years to improve myself aesthetically.
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More posts coming later this week!
PS! I’ve just put a load of study notes onto this page on my blog, so if you’re a student vet, or are simply interested in what we study, go check it out!